The Dumb Cool Weird Podcast
It is a podcast that covers old movies from the 20th century that are funny and ridiculous. We cover what is dumb, cool, and weird about each movie. We are raw and don't show mercy!!
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The Dumb Cool Weird Podcast
Unpacking the Myths and Muscles of 'Hercules: The Legendary Journeys' and 'Hercules and the Amazon Women' - Episode 44
Wes and Nick start a their own legendary journey watching the Hercules Tv Show Movies with the first one being about amazon women who hate men and want to sleep with them at the same time. Travel back in time with us to the era of demigods and myths, as we unveil the quirky origins of "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys" and its foundational TV movie, "Hercules and the Amazon Women." Experience a fresh take on Kevin Sorbo's earlier, more Herculean build and the impact his political opinions have had, akin to those of fellow actors Clint Eastwood and Bruce Willis. Our discussion doesn't shy away from the contentious, diving into Chris Pratt's religious controversy, but we always circle back to the classic tale of a muscle-bound hero in a world where Zeus might just be the most irresponsible father in mythology.
Prepare for a hearty chuckle as we dissect the gender-bending hijinks and straight-to-the-point romance in the midst of a womanless village's conundrum. We spotlight an early appearance by Lucy Lawless and ponder the deus ex machina ending that somehow still leaves us charmed by the practical effects of '90s TV magic. So, arm yourself with snacks and nostalgia – our Movie Monday is an invitation to relive the adventures that paved the way for Xena and set the stage for Hercules' epic journey.
Plot:
Hercules returns home to visit his mother Alcmene and to the wedding of his best friend Iolaus. Out of the blue, the villager Pithus arrives asking for help to Hercules to defeat monsters that are attacking his distant village. Hercules travels with Iolaus to fight the monsters and soon they learn that they are indeed Amazons controlled by the evil Hera.
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dumb cool weird podcast, all right, so today we're talking about hercules and the amazon women, which was the first, basically the pilot um episode for hercules and the legendary journeys, the kevin sorbo and michael hearst show great shows fun times because like great time, and the funny thing is I watched the entire series, like the entire legendary journey series, but I've never seen the movies. So me and nick said nick's never seen the movies either. So we're like, fuck it, we gotta watch these, because these were the movies that set up the tv show.
Speaker 2:Apparently there was five feature-length movies that set up the show we didn't even know yeah, all right, it was just one of those hidden gems, so fun fact yeah no right, it was just one of those hidden gems, so, fun fact, they weren't really sure, kevin. Sorbo's jack Dead. No, he's just jacked as fuck man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's huge. Kevin Sorbo in this show is fucking massive. I mean now he's really tiny Because he doesn't work out as much anymore, but man, he used to be huge.
Speaker 2:Intimidatingly large. Hey what he's intimidatingly large and handsome?
Speaker 1:Yes, he is, although a lot of people hate him these days because he's more on the conservative side.
Speaker 2:He's always been like that, so I don't see why that was a problem. I guess it's just cause he started talking. Well, it's like.
Speaker 1:I know a lot of people that love um Clint Eastwood, but Clint Eastwood's pretty conservative too, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so is uh.
Speaker 1:Bruce Willis is conservative as well, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Bruce Willis got lucky that he got a lot of his action roles in the 80s and 90s though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, true, Didn't you say that Chris Pratt's a little on the conservative side too?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, he's on the conservative side. He's a live and let live kind of guy.
Speaker 1:Or a libertarian.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but he gets a lot of shit from people on the left because he's a big-time Christian and everything, so they're like, oh, that's evil, even though he doesn't bother anybody about it.
Speaker 1:He just kind of keeps it to himself. But yeah, this movie was pretty crazy because it really kind of sets up, like you know. It kind of starts off the show and we get a little bit of backstory because basically when the TV series started, the pilot episode basically had Hercules with his wife and his kids and the um they get murdered by harrah and in the show when it happens you're like what the fuck? This seems kind of premeditated. But now that we've watched the first two movies we kind of understand why. Yeah, there's beef between the like him and harrah, because in the first, the first two movies we watched um, especially the, the amazon one.
Speaker 2:He is like they are like button heads like really bad well, but you know it's, you know it's funny. That was like you said, right, when you watch the first pilot episode you don't understand. But now, like with all this stuff, it's like I can also understand why she's pissed off.
Speaker 1:I mean, zeus is going around just fucking anything with two legs and a pulse yeah, which, by the way, in the original series or in this in the tv show, you actually don't see zeus for like several seasons. So you're kind of like where the fuck is this guy? But then when you watch the tv show, it's the the tv movies. You're like, oh, this motherfucker's here all the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but he always shows up and he's just kind of like, hey, how you doing, son? I just want you to know I can't help you. I'm here for your support.
Speaker 1:He's kind of like that dad that shows up to your birthday party that you don't see very much, and he goes hey, kiddo, here's a little gift. I'm gonna go now.
Speaker 2:But, dad, I thought you said you're going to stay. Hey, I stayed about five minutes.
Speaker 1:That's enough time, isn't it?
Speaker 2:But like I mean, I mean like like he's real and the funnier part is is like they really captured the whole like myth of Zeus, just fucking everything.
Speaker 1:Yep Pretty well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and he, just he sees a woman, he's like I'll be right back.
Speaker 1:You know, what's pretty crazy is the movie kind of sets it up where, basically, hercules and Aeolus are getting ready for Aeolus' wedding and this guy comes from this village and he's like you know, he's like, oh, something's happening in our village, like these creatures are coming and killing all of our people, and it's like, oh, shit, okay, and so this is pretty bad, this is pretty bad, and so what ends up happening is basically Hercules and Aeolus go and they come to this village and in the village it's only a bunch of guys and like some boys.
Speaker 2:And everybody's village. It's only a bunch of guys and like some boys and everybody's like. And then when you're watching you're like what the fuck is going on here?
Speaker 1:And they even asked him. It's like, where's all the women? And they just brush it off Like, oh, we don't have women here. And then they're like, well, where are you getting the children?
Speaker 2:And he's like, oh, we find them by the river.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and Hercules looks at Aeolus to the side and goes I'm not buying this shit at all.
Speaker 2:I mean it's like if you and I showed up, we're like, hey, how do you guys have all these kids without the women? Oh, we find them by the river. Piss off your women Like that bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but basically, basically, eolus and Hercules go into the woods and then they get attacked by these masked creatures. They're like running up and down the trees and they're. They're doing the what we call the 90s swinging the weapon, swoosh sound effects, oh my.
Speaker 2:God, they overuse the hell out of that. The weapon swoosh sound effects. Oh my God, they overused the hell out of that, even for stuff, by the way, no-transcript.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's really fucking dumb and it's just like all right, get to it already, Get to the fighting already.
Speaker 2:You're just sitting there kind of like I mean very entertaining fight scenes, but they really have this whole choreographed thing going on where they're like we really got to show off that we have weapons.
Speaker 1:Yep, this whole like choreographed thing going on where they're, like we really gotta show off that we have weapons. Yep, I mean, I bet the props guy was over there like jerking off while he was watching it off off screen. He's like, yes, use my props, use my pro. And then not far behind him is the sound effects guy. He's like.
Speaker 2:He's like hey, do you have any other sound effects? It's like, hey, how about you? Like, shut the fuck up and make me let me do my job.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's like I all, I have a swooshing staff noises I just love how everybody's like, and then I love how everybody like, like. I like how hercules and eolus are in really good shape, and then, like, when you see, like the, the other men who are like you know, a series of featured extras and as well as like a few people have speaking lines, they all look like just like terrible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they've got like terrible hair loss. Bodies are really bad. They really went out of the way to make sure that all the women on the Amazon side were like attractive.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Smoking hot. We're talking like eights, nines and tens across the board. Yeah, were like attractive oh yeah, smoking hot.
Speaker 2:We're talking like eights, nines and tens across the board. Yeah, you know that. And then, and then you know the end when they're like, when they just have sex because, like that, that's how they, they cured the problem, which was sex.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so so basically what happens is, uh, just to kind of like add to like, kind of like set up what he's talking about. Basically, what ends up happening is these mass creatures that are running up and down the trees are like the Amazon women. They basically kill the Olus which me and Nick were like well. Well, we've seen the TV show, so we obviously know he's coming back, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so so, like you know, they capture Her, bring him back to the amazon village, the the, the leader of the amazons. She tries to get him to like lick her feet or something and then like he's, he like yells at her and he, they like they basically have his shirt off, so he's like super shredded and ripped and they're like like she's kind of like lusting over him a little bit. You can tell it in her fucking eyes. She's like oh, yeah, Well.
Speaker 2:well, like, like we said, the men from the village weren't really much to look at.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so somebody like him. They're like, they're like, oh, like, they're like. Holy shit, dude, we could make a lot of babies from this fucking beast.
Speaker 2:We shouldn't have killed the other attractive one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he killed the other attractive one too. What the fuck. You know, this good gene's gone to waste, but, basically, what ends up happening, though, is they put him in a cage, they try to test him to see if he's really who he says he is, and then Hera tells the leader kill him. She tries to kill him, but you know the joke. The joke is, he's in this cage, and me and Nick were like he could get out of there anytime. He could get out of there anytime, we can get out of there anytime, and he's like talking to Zeus, and Zeus doesn't help him, and he just lifts the cage up and gets out of the cage.
Speaker 1:We're like that the whole time he was just in there by choice. He was like I want to see where this goes. Yeah, what's really funny is she tries to kill him with the spear and she like looks in there. She's like wait a minute, he's not in here anymore and I'm like bitch, you're that fucking surprised. He's hercules. Like hercules has been saving you guys for like 10 years. At this point, that's by. Actually that was the setup to the show, to the movie, by the way, hercules had been, had already made a name for himself for like 10 years prior to this.
Speaker 2:He already knew who this guy was.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It was like where were you guys.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so, basically, what ends up happening, though, is they decide to go to war with the men because, you know, hera told her to do it. It's like, you know, oh, the gods told me to do it, mainly Hera and it's like, oh well, got to do it now, and so we thought they were going to go in and slaughter them. No, no, they go to the village and they fuck the men. That's it. There is no war to them is going and fucking the men. That was literally it.
Speaker 2:Well, from what it sounded like when they got together, it was less romantic. It was just very rough casual sex.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they were like all right, take off your clothes. And the men are like don't you want to talk first? And it's like, damn dude, they totally reversed the roles, didn't they?
Speaker 2:I love how that one guy's like can you just tell me your name? I wrote a song about you.
Speaker 1:And then she's like what Get?
Speaker 2:your clothes off. I was like no, let me do the song first.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then they end up wooing them. Turns out that the little boy and the one guy they have a like he has a mom. The mom is the one that's trying to fuck the dad again so she can get another baby. And then the little boy goes, aren't you, my mom?
Speaker 2:And it's like wow, dude, that's fucked up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, they, uh, they also had uh xena, the warrior princess, fuck zeus, and zeus is like 90, yeah, which, by the way, uh lucy lawless was not in the show yet. This was literally like her first. I think this was like her very first role in hercules, but she was not playing her.
Speaker 1:She wasn't playing. Uh, actually I think lucy lawless played like two characters before she played um xena the warrior princess, because she showed. Xena shows up, I think in season two, I think, or maybe it's season one, but then she gets her. No, I think it's season one. She's up in season one. After season one she gets her own show, so both shows are yeah that sounds about right, um, but um, yeah, so basically they have sex.
Speaker 1:Hercules obviously has sex because he's the best looking guy in the village. And yeah, they go back and harrah's like, oh, you didn't kill them. And she's like, no, and she's like kill them and kill them now.
Speaker 2:And then she's like, but and then they're not so bad and she's like kill them and then, and then, harrah possesses the queen yep and and. Then you have that situation where they actually start going to the village to kill the men yeah, because the men are all lined up before.
Speaker 1:It's like, oh my god, oh my god, this is gonna be awesome. And then when they roll in with the fucking horses with the armor on, they're like, oh, oh shit, we're dead, we're done for.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they start killing people for real. Oh, and then I love how Hercules is trying to confront Hera, who's got the possession of the queen's body, and he's like, he's like I couldn't live without her. So Hera throws her off the cliff.
Speaker 1:Those are off the cliff. And then, uh, basically, um, I think the the little boy's dad dies, and so the little boy and the mom are sad and so, like there's a bunch of dead bodies everywhere. And then Hercules walks up to his dad and says I, I can't live without her, you got to help me. And he goes, he goes, he goes, I could fix this. And he's like well, do it. He's like but I don't. But I, but I, you know, hair is going to be really upset, but hair is not going to like it. And it's like what?
Speaker 2:Dude, you're, you're fine, wait like, don't tell us she's gonna be mad. All right, you didn't care about her feelings and this is why the whole hercules series exists.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely so. Basically, um, we, basically he, he reverses time. He does like a dsx mock. In a moment where, you know, hand a gun, fixes everything. Go back to the beginning of the episode. The guy walks in. The guy that like was originally like got you know Eolus and Hercules to go, was like, oh, I need, like you know, like like Hercules already knows what's going to happen. So he opens the door. He's like, oh yeah, it's you. Um, let me give you some advice, go talk to your women and help me. He's like, like, understand, and then after that, um, it literally just ends because, like, everybody comes back to life. So that's how we found out that, uh, you know it was a dsx mocking. The moment where everybody comes back to life, you know, none of the deaths really mean it meant anything yeah and uh.
Speaker 2:You know his friend got to marry that really hot chick who couldn't cook.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:Or tend to the animals Yep, terrible, terrible or do anything which makes less sense.
Speaker 1:Well, that was Hercules and the Amazon Woman. What was dumb, cool and weird about this? The dumb part of this whole movie, the DSX mocking a moment. That was dumb Purely from a standpoint of filmmaking. When you do stuff like that, it typically doesn't always line up very well with people. I mean, it's it's great that eolus is still alive, because he really makes the tv show, but usually in filmmaking it's not. In my opinion, it's not really a very good trope to use unless there's a really good reason. I guess another dumb moment would be just Zeus. Yeah, zeus is pretty dumb.
Speaker 2:Zeus just kind of shows up for a little bit of convenience here and there to give Hercules not so good advice on how to solve his problems. So he's just pretty much useless.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I would also say what's really cool about like, like moving on from the dumb. I would say what's really cool about this movie is I can tell that this was the first movie that they made in this series just by watching it, and I can tell they had to get very creative with this and I'm very impressed with how creative they got Practical effects.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the practical effects in this movie were really cool, and all of them in general that we've seen so far.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was actually really impressive. I was very impressed with how well they put this stuff together. It's amazing what they did, because I'm sure the studios were like we're not too really sure about this, but the fucking costumes were on point and I guess they kept the story relatively simple to keep the budget down a good bit. And I will say the set design was really fucking cool even though it was pretty obvious they were shooting in a South American rainforest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, honestly, I think they must have been in Costa Rica, where the coastline, the mountains and the very tropical environment Because you've been to Greece.
Speaker 1:You said that place where they're at looked nothing like Greece.
Speaker 2:No dude.
Speaker 1:But then again, they're the Amazon women, but that's so weird because the Amazon rainforest is really far away from Greece. So how the fuck did Hercules get there?
Speaker 2:forest is really far away from greece. So how the fuck did hercules get there? You know well, you know, dude, it's kind of like the islands and everything of like lesbos, right, they say that there's no, like there's this whole myth about them being lesbians. And you know, I had this, uh, this greek tour guide one time telling me like yeah, that's just a bunch of made-up, damn, because like people were all excited about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, funny shit like that. I think another really cool thing is this is really funny and fun. The only actor in the entire fucking movie that was Greek was Zeus, the only actor that was played by a Greek guy. I think that's so funny.
Speaker 2:That is the funnier part.
Speaker 1:Which is perfect, because Zeus is like the king of the gods. So we got to make him a Greek guy, you know. But I think at the TV show they replace him with some other dude and he's just like a normal looking white guy. He looks like British or something.
Speaker 1:But yeah, that was pretty good casting and and you know we really didn't talk about the mom too much. The mom she's there in the beginning and she's, you know, she's really sweet and all that and she kind of shows up. And that's when zeus kind of talks to hercules a little bit he's like, oh, my boy, you know, and so he doesn't stick around long enough to talk to mom. Yeah, but um yeah, and then so weird. You know the weird part of this movie, obviously.
Speaker 2:What did those guys do to piss off those women so much? That they started their own village.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yep, and then I also thought the sound effects were weird. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sound effects were weird. Oh my God, yeah, the sound effects were weird. Yup.
Speaker 1:But that uh.
Speaker 2:I think that concludes it, though.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's it. I mean that's you know, hercules and Amazon women it's a it's, it's. It's an interesting film I mean. I recommend watching it If you ever wanted to know how uh the tv show, why it got like, if you want to really understand why the tv show had the setup and the pilot episode like it did. You got to watch all five films and may and nick still have to watch three more.
Speaker 1:So I mean, I'm excited yeah, it should be fun, but uh, hey, you want to sign us out yeah, stay sexy atlanta yep and uh. Yeah, thanks for checking out the dumb, cool, weird podcast. We're a movie podcast now, so movie monday is every monday about crappy movies from the 20th century. It's gonna be great, folks. I can't wait to show y'all.
